Happy Birthday, Dad



“She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her father.” — Harper Lee, Go Set a Watchman
Happy Birthday, Dad. I know I am early but in heaven, time has only eternity. I hope heaven is having a month-long birthday party for you. 😊 And a parade for that matter. I can still hear your embarrassing belted out song, “I LOVE A PARADE!”
I miss you, Dad. Every day, I look at your little leather jewellery box that holds its treasures. The smell of the leather is still here, as are the memories of playing with it as a little girl…gently picking up each cuff link…the shiny gold ones, the office black ones you wore with your crisp white shirt, and the fun terra cotta sparkly ones that I loved to hold up to reflect the sun's light.
The leather now holds your rosary, Dad - the one you said for me for so many years. It also holds the picture of me that I found in it, and recently, the ring I won for mom on Mother’s Day. I can’t wear it right now – the pain is still too fresh. Your leather box contains all the treasured memories I need. It even has the soft piece of suede that I would hold gently against my cheek.
I confess Dad I am not doing the greatest lately. I have tried so hard over the years, but I mess up. I need your prayers up there, Dad. I'm sure God gave you a sparkly new rosary on that holy day you met him face to face. Or maybe his mom, Mary did when you met her after all your Hail Marys to her over the years. Please use your beads for me today.
I miss seeing your rough, callused hands as you held your beads. Your hands are forever inked on my heart. I wish I could pray like you did, Dad. – My prayers are sporadic at best, and probably contain more tears and swear words but in my own way I try. I am afraid I did not turn out to be a very good catholic, though.
I miss the Pinery, Dad – putting up our big old green tent and collecting sea glass with you along the shores of Lake Huron. Oh how you loved the lake, you were always so at peace there. I miss our walks – trying to keep step with you as you quietly teased me to mess up my steps. I miss those Sunday nights where few words were spoken but you always filled me with your quiet peace as we skipped together, home.
Our crab is hanging-in – still delicately taped together after all these years. That day at the kitchen table, when you patiently cut it off the cereal box and taped it together, Christmas Day when I gave it to you in a Kleenex box – and you teared - and then the Christmas so many years later when you gave it back to me and I teared - are memories I hope will see me through my forgetful years, when all I will want to do is sing Christmas carols in July.
I miss your holy strength, Dad. You gave me quiet life lessons that needed no words but they strengthened me. And you gave me your rosary beads that contained the promised prayers, that gave me life.
Thank you Dad, and Happy Birthday. I miss you but I am happy you are home.
"Silent Night, Holy Night", Love Jo

“All is calm, all is bright…”
Home

“And looking up to heaven, he sighed deeply and said, “Ephphatha, which means be opened.”” Mark 7:34
In the night hush, zephyr lingers caressing the boy awake sleepily, he peers through the invisible stained glass longing to hear the hymn of the sea that echoes amidst the tree's canopy The tree aches to give what the boy must choose wooden limbs cocoon the seed for the-one-not-yet-of-age quietly, waiting in anticipation for the boy's conception of painted hands that reflect the hands that formed them Seeds planted long ago with dirt fingernails the gardener's hands fashioned the boy and wood from dust and dirt the soul and earth's womb tenderly tilled in anticipation for the boy and tree's inception of his fruit The weathered hands gently cup the two seeds the-artist-of-every-creature softly breathes on them sealing his longing with a signet kiss the mist germinates the seeds, giving life to the boy and the tree and the dew of ephphatha imprints home The tree knows, he carries the weight of the-artist-who-formed-him from dirt the roots ache with the knowledge his limbs will be dragged to Golgotha to bear the nails of the bloodied hands that gave him life But the twofold promise of the tree also shadows the seed of the boy's longing for the-one-he-longs-for the father's exhaled promise for the boy shelters in the tree cradling the inhaled revelation of the artist's hands Ring upon ring, the tree strengthens fired sap coursing through its veins giving sweet delight to those who remain still to hear the sound of the honey and taste the tree's manna Season after season, the tree inches to heaven waiting for the-boy-who-longs-to-paint to see the tree carved by the carpenter with enough wood to carry both the father and the son, home Zephyr curls off the water, collecting the boy's salted tears discarded along the shore each sorrow gently placed in his sacred bottle the tears mix with the son's fired blood a holy water baptism compressed in each drop of the father's mercy too deep to know The tree stands sentinel, the appointed time has come his limbs gently lift the boy, holding him near, to hear heaven's roar of the sea zephyr opens the ear to hear the painted-spit whisper: ephphatha The son opens his hands to receive the father's brush who painted him with the same stick that stirs the paint within him the veiled canvas gently reveals vision, to see the three The artist spills his painted blood colour streams into the boy who receives the very paint that turns the season of the tree into kairos with a deep sigh, the boy inhales the artist's exhaled ephphatha zephyr opens the boy's longing to paint home With the imprint of his father's hands line upon line he pours out the paint the reservoir of colour overflows from deep within with the father's stick, he paints each line wooing him to the space, he stills Borderland, the space between where longings meet the father's waiting room where he quietly lingers with arms open The sabbath space the gift of borderland where in communion with the son, zephyr rests as the father longingly waits for his son to paint his way home
“While the son was a long way off, the father ran to his son, and threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8
Sanctum Sanctorum
The sack-clothed glory readies in the womb as wailing women give voice to its imminent arrival.
“EX INTIMIS VISCERIBUS MISERICORDIA COMMOVEOR!”
His womb aches for a resting place but there is no room in the sanctuary. The marketplace hustles and bustles in anticipation of the Harvest Census but buyers and sellers dismiss the value of the fertilized seed. The merchants know there is no margin in a fruit freely given.
There is movement in the womb. The fruit is ripe, saturated for birth, and the midwifery stones wail in anticipation. His eyes dart to and fro longing for labourers empty enough to bear the olive-pressed fruit.
It is the ninth hour.
Splagchnon makes room for the ache of His womb. The cry of Nineveh transitions through the blue penciled line between the seen and the unseen. The membrane of silence shatters with the final push:
“LAMA SABACHTHANI?”
The divine dew pink with the blood spews forth. A longing so deep, it overflows from the heart of Him into the humble who long to give. The ring of fire sears those who bear the Gethsemane twinned fruit. Compassion and mercy are named. The swaddled fruit whimper, still tender from the birth. Incubated in the shadow, they wait for the Father to make room. The Lord of Hosts raises his sword and cries out:
“SANCTUM SANCTORUM!”
The yielded sword, sever unholy alliances that stop the flow. The beloved is pruned and those who do not succumb to the sword are driven from the sanctuary. The Father of Mercy reclaims His key and unlocks Sanctum Sanctorum; its counterfeit is hurled into the fire. A tear trickles down his cheek as He surveys the lost multitude huddled in the secret place. Moved with compassion, He raises his sickle and whispers:
“I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy,
I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.”
The eyes of the heart reveal the wisdom of His fruit. Travailing at Gethsemane precedes the entrusting of the precious multitude. Ichabod remains constipated but humility opens loins that long to be moved. Compassion pushes out judgement and mercy boomerangs back blessing those who bless. The twinned fruit bear more fruit. Preaching, teaching and healing become the heirs of compassion; kindness and forgiveness are begotten of mercy.
Compassion and mercy restore the breach that wall the cubed ember. The repaired rampart protects the flame and the newly polished pearl illuminates the way. Hand in hand, nations return to the square drawn by the brilliance of the Lamb. On bended knee, they drink from the chalice of the river that roars from the fire. Ha’etz is shared and in communion, they eat the fullness of the fruit tree. The agony of the garden that birthed the fruit, blossoms into leaves that heal Gethsemane. Glory and honour take their place; the rear guard fruits of compassion and mercy.
The root rises to kiss the star as the twelve watchmen position at the gates. At the sound of the trumpet, in unity the Sentinel Host cries out for Nineveh:
Holy, Holy, Holy,
Sanctum Sanctorum.
Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Kyrie eleison,
Christe eleison,
Kyrie eleison.
-Amen-
“But when he saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them…” Matthew 9:36






